these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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