I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
