No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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