i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
