stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
