it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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