how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
