If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i've created a new STD.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
