glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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