By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
