Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
