I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
