here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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