WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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