Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Everything about him screamed your future.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
