You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
