READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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