I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize