I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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