as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize