we made out on top of his cat.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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