Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
