Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
