We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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