just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
sex in a hospital.. check
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
