I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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