new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
