Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When did angry sex become our thing?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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