I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
