i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
