So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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