her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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