Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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