Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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