he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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