riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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