no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
