he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
