Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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