are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
