He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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