Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We left an ass print on the piano.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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