big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
