i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
