The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
