9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize