question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
