No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A bitchslap is in order.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
