I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
