Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
