ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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