I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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