Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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