He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
