Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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