shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Semen is not good for contacts.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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