If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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