And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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