would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She even gives head with a lisp.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
