Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
