you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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