You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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