I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
