Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
