You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
