for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
