I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
