they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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