just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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