I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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