I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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